Monday, November 9, 2009

All hail jeebus: The return of drummies

Two weeks ago, I did the worm into my local TJs and was shocked by what was in the freezer section: Drummets. Believe it or not, drummies have returned to my local Trader Joes.

At first, I thought my eyes were deceiving me. After all, I dream about the return of drummies maybe 3 or 4 times a week. After bashing my foot with the shopping cart, I was convinced it was real. I snapped up 3 boxes -- that's all my freezer has room for -- and quickly carted to the front, keeping a close eye on fellow shoppers that would be all too eager to steal my drummies. Thankfully, no one tried to steal them. I wouldn't have thought twice about smacking a small child across the elbow if it had attempted to even touch the boxes of deliciousness.

My new concern is this: how long until TJs takes my precious away again? It was what, Feb 2009, when the drummies disappeared. Now, they mysteriously return 9 months later with zero fanfare. Should I stock up like it's WW3 or should I tempt fate and only maintain a 3 box on hand supply?

Monday, August 17, 2009

Reason #6: Delicious and nutritious too!

Drummies not only taste good but are also good for you. But don't take my word for it, try them... TODAY! Oh right. Half a year and counting the product has been off of TJ's shelves. MIA.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

159 long days and counting...

It has been 159 long days since I have tasted the deliciousness known only as TRADER JOE'S CHICKEN DRUMMETTES. What the hell is going on and where are they?! Employees just pay lip service: "Sir, it's a quality control issue. We appreciate your patience. " or "I'm not sure when they will be back in stock. Maybe in 4-6 weeks. Maybe never." or "I don't work here. I just shop here like you. Quit asking me questions."

I'm tired of this! Just fix the problem and bring them back!


Starving for Drummies

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Why is everyone lying?

So it's been countless months since drummies have been missing. Trader Joe employees laugh when I ask when the drummies will return. One even spit on me for asking! Ok ok. That was a lie. BUT why is it that they have no information on when the deliciousness will return?

Frankly, I'm disappointed. I expect more from Trader Joes.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The sky is falling...

The sky is falling, people.

Drummies are no where to be found. Even Trader Joe's employees don't know when the delicious treats will return to a store near you.

Who is in power? No one.


Mike the Headless Chicken

I started reading this wikipedia article about a chicken that was decapitated but didn't die. It lived for 18 months. Seriously.

That is how I feel right now. I've been living without drummies for almost 4 months now. Walking around without a head.... er.... without delicious drummies in my stomach. Just lost.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Reason #5: Cause I said so!

Drummies are good cause I said so. Now bring them back asap.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Reason #4: No provel

Another reason to enjoy Drummies is they do not contain provel.

Uh.... not active yet

I just got off the phone with my friendly, neighborhood Trader Joes Store. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi. When the f**k will the drummies be in? They've been out for 3 months.
Trader Joes: The whaaa?
Me: The Drummetts?
Trader Joes: Oh. We don't have them yet. They aren't active, but should be available in the next 2 weeks. We do have BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH (here she described another chicken product).
Me: SHUT UP! I'M LOYAL TO DRUMMIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[phone slammed down in anger]


Friday, June 12, 2009

Subservient chicken? MMMmmm..... creepy.

Of all places, Burger King has a strange website called "Subservient chicken"

Once there, you can stare at the web cam images of a man in a chicken suit and then type in what you want him to do.

Chicken, defined

KFC defines chicken strips as"

Crispy Strips (3)
Serving Size (gms): 152
Calories: 380
Calories from Fat: 200
Total Fat (gms): 22
Saturated Fat (gms): 6
Trans Fat (g): 0
Cholesterol (mgs): 80
Sodium (mgs): 720
Carbohydrates (gms): 12
Dietary Fiber (gms): 1
Sugars (gms): 0
Protein: 33"

I have been UNABLE TO LOCATE the nutrition ingredients for TJ drummies. If anyone has them, please post or send the location!


Only a few days left before chicken drummies are again on my plate, eaten slowly, digested, then excreted as waste matter.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The people are scared and confused...

I am not alone! Trader Joes customers are scared and confused about the status of drummies. I blame POOR COMMUNICATION BY STORES to shoppers about the missing favorite.,com_joomlaboard/Itemid,40/func,view/id,3306/catid,9/

DRUMMIE WATCH: Tuesday, June 16th

I received a telegram from a reliable source. For security we'll obscure his identify and call him "J-man" that TJ Drummies will return with zero fanfare on Tuesday, June 16th. Apparently, the truck arrives around 5am and I wouldn't be surprised if trained ninjas are there to greet the driver and steal the entire supply of Drummies.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Reason #3: Coloring is spot on

Have you noticed the coloring of the drummies? A nice golden brown/orange color. This coloring transfers to my skin so I no longer need that spray on tan. Delicious.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Reason #2: The shape of the drummies is perfect

Have you looked at the shape of the individual drummies? It is the most perfect shape for any chicken nugget like product. Harken back to the days of morning cartoons with the perfect, delicious chicken/turkey leg devoured in one quick bite. Yum.

Reason #1: The chicken is delicious

Why would anyone start a blog about missing TJ chicken drummies? Well, because they are so very delicious that I have to tell the world. That and I want to get the suits in corporate to speed up the drummy re-integration process.

Where are the drummies?

A sad thing happened recently. Trader Joe's chicken drummies (drummets) have been UNAVAILBLE due to mysterious, unexplained reasons. One hypothesis is that the drummies have gotten too popular, threatening the status almighty Orange Chicken. Another is that Trader Joes is using the power of anticipation to build demand for drummies to a record high level. Another has something to do with the Russians.

IRREGARDLESS, I demand the swift return of drummy supply to all Trader Joe stores.

Yours truly,

Crazy nutjob